Today, the reality is that we break the bias

 It’s international women’s day and today like every other day in the life of a woman, we are striving to break bias!

I remember in 2017 when someone who came to see me in my newly set up office said to me “your husband really set you up nicely oh.” I remember telling her that though my husband is supportive, he wasn’t the one who set me up. The woman looked surprised and said “then it must be your father. He must have spent a lot of money doing this” to which I again replied that I appreciate my dad but, No, it wasn’t my father who set me up. I set myself up.

Why did I do that?

Even though I could have smiled and kept quiet, I responded because I wanted that woman to know that she didn’t need a male figure or anyone to set her up. I wanted her to know she is in charge of her life and is fully capable of making decisions that affects her growth and happiness.

Today, the reality is that we break the bias that not only society has set for women but even the ones that women have set for themselves.

-Normalize thinking and knowing that women have capacity and can set up themselves. Normalize understanding that women can make independent choices for the betterment of their future and advancement of their career. 

-Normalize asking career men during interviews how they juggle their work life and family too. Nobi only woman born the pikin.

-If you think it’s irresponsible for a mother to send her 3 months old to crèche, please quit your job and stay at home to care for the baby. Responsible fatherhood is beyond “our bundle of joy has arrived. Mother, father and baby are doing well”

-Quit being judgmental of women. Whether they are ‘stay at home mums’ or career women. Learn to respect personal decisions. While some want to fly high at work others just want to fly high working at home. What is important is that it’s a decision they consciously made and are flying irrespective.

-Infertility is not always the woman’s fault. Pastors should particularly take note. Quit laying hands on a woman’s womb and projecting her as barren when it is the husband that is suffering from azoospermia.

-Be open minded. Employ newly married women. You are not the timekeeper of conception. There is no assurance a woman will get pregnant immediately after marriage. I waited four years to birth my first child.

-A slow driver causing traffic, forgetting the traffic light has changed to green or refusing to give you ‘space’ on the road is not always a woman. Normalize gender neutrality.

-Put us in leadership roles not just because you want to tick the ‘diversity and inclusion’ box but because you truly believe us to be competent, capable and worthy of the position we occupy.

For now and for the future, irrespective of your gender, choose to #breakthebias

 

Credit: Adepeju Jaiyeoba