Nkechi Bianze _Domestic violence could be hereditary

Mimi is a young 29-year old woman. She's the daughter of my mum's colleague.

Bobo is a young 34-year old man, based in Canada. Bobo is my cousin.

As at 2021; Bobo was dating Mimi.

Bobo's Dad and mum have been married for 40 years. Bobo's Dad had cheated on, beaten, and maltreated Bobo's mum.

There was a time Bobo's Dad impregnated a 15 year old girl. The parents of the 15 year old got him arrested after their daughter almost died trying to have a quack perform an abortion on her. Bobo's mum, a very "virtuous woman" used her own money to bail her husband out of jail. This and many others were the kind of things Bobo's mum had to endure over their 4 decades of marriage.

Note that Bobo's mum is the rich one o. She owns the house they live in. She inherited the house from her father.

Everyone who was close to Bobo's family knows the dynamics of Bobo's parents' marriage and what Bobo's mum have had to put up with and endure over the decades.

About 3 months ago, my mum attended a wedding. The bride is Mimi.

When my mum got back from the wedding, we got gisting. She told me who the bride was, and I was like "Bobo is now married? Bobo didn't tell me he was getting married o."

My mum replied "No, she didn't get married to Bobo. The groom is NOT Bobo."

I was shocked. But they were dating, they fit each other. What happened?

My mum said Mimi's mum went to "ju-ese" about Bobo's family background. She found out about Bobo's father has been cruel to Bobo's mum. Found out about some of the cheating, domestic violence, wrecklessness Bobo's Dad had committed against Bobo's mum....

... and she said "over her dead body" is she going to allow her daughter marry a man whose father treated his wife like that.

I think Mimi's mum made the right judgement.

If I have a daughter, I'll never allow my daughter marry a man like Bobo, whose father treated his mother like that.

I WILL JUDGE YOU BY THE WAY YOUR PARENTS TREATED EACH OTHER!!!

I would NEVER have married a man whose father maltreated his mother.

During my dating years, I ghosted a man at the talking stage because his father was well known to have maltreated his mother and was the emperor of the marriage.

It is true that not all men take after their fathers. But I can tell you that so many men end up like their fathers.

It sometimes takes being intentional and saying "My father wasn't good to my mum. I condemn it and I'll do better by my wife" for a man not to end up like his father.

For most men, their mothers become a standard. Like "my mother endured slaps, punches, cheating and black eyes from my father, why can't you endure ordinary small cheating and small slap?" Their mothers become a standard of measurement for how much ill treatment a woman should accept. These ones are damaged beyond control.

Their athem of such boys is "women of nowadays are not like our mothers." They usually mean that women of these days don't want to take as much shi+s as their mothers took.

I believe Mimi's mum made the right choice.

In this case, the sins of the fathers shall be visited upon their sons.

By-the-way, Bobo is my cousin, we are close. Minus domestic violence (because he can't try that in Canada without landing himself in jail), he is a photocopy of his father in looks and character.

The story of Mimi and Bobo is true. The names are not their real names though.

Nkechi  Bianze .